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Doctor Who: Choosing your path (A Doctor Who parody)

Good question Grad school, eh? Forget it! What? Why? Who are you? I’m the voice of reason, kid Do you think you have any other option than
a job? I can certainly decide what to do with my
life! Is that so? Tell me, how much did you pay for your education? A lot, I suppose. And you are in debt, a very big debt If you want to ever repay it, you have to come and work Are you thinking of Master’s? It just makes it worse Are you thinking of a PhD? Don’t make me laugh! You’ll be stuck here for years, earning peanuts And for what result? Nothing! You won’t even benefit the people In this world, you have to make the money first, kid You have no other choice, but to come and work for us I guess you’re right Don’t be stupid, kid Now come on and apply for a real– Hello? Don’t listen to him! What? Who… who are you? What happened to him? Ha, don’t worry about him He’ll be fine But, who are you? Oh, hello, I’m the Doctor! Nice to meet you! Doctor who? Ah, great question, isn’t it? Now, I’m here to show you the other path that
is available to you Graduate school! Have you ever wondered what grad school is
like? It is rather cool, actually! I guess I have Great Now, come with me! Where are we going? To my spaceship! Oh I’m an alien by the way You’re an alien? And you’ve come to show me what grad school is like? Okay, sure… And this is my spaceship It can travel anywhere in time and space And in thoughts Now, come on in! We are going directly into the mind of a graduate
student Really? Can we do that? Oh, just watch! Ladies and gentlemen Please fasten your seat belt We are about to take off! The emergency exits are located… We don’t have any emergency exits! Allons-y! Ah, here we are! Are we really here? Inside a mind? Yes, the wonderful mind of a Master’s student Machine learning! Machine learning! Machine learning! Machine learning! Machine learning! Machine learning? Machine learning Machine learning Machine learning! Machine learning Machine learning! ♪ Machine learning, machine learning ♪ It’s… interesting It is indeed! They usually land a good job in industry And don’t worry It changes sometimes Big data! Big data! Big data Now, come on Let’s go! That was fun! What do you think about exploring the mind of a PhD student this time? Yeah! Great! Okay! Alright! Allons-y! Alright, the mind of a PhD student! Not again! Deadline! Ah… Four days… Deadline… Now look! Look here It’s something very rare Hmm, how can we solve this problem? It’s the birth of a great idea Oh, I know! Hi, I’m an idea! Hi, I’m an idea! Wow! Look at all these ideas! I must tell it to my adviser! No! No! No! No! Come in! Hey I just have the best research idea! It solves all our problems! Doctor What’s going on? Stay back, they must be in a meeting now I designed a protocol The File Transfer Protocol And if it becomes a big thing, as I think it will, people will call it FTP! It’s incredible However, I do want you to read this first This is the proceedings of Computer Networks from 1978 We actually had invented that protocol about 50 years ago Doctor, the ideas! No! But Your idea made me think Look! What if we put files on the blockchain? Hi, I’m an idea! Hi, I’m an idea! Haha! Oh, wow! I have a logo already This is a chain! See? Nothing is lost! And that, actually, is the beauty of the PhD mind! It’s a world of wonders, where ideas are born, die, and live again You think, you explore, you discover, you build And from your work Other people will start changing the way they think about the world And they will build a better future Do you understand it now? I think I do Great! Now, come on, let’s get out of here Thank you, Doctor, for showing me all of this But, what about him? Oh, him Let me take care of him …job! What? Who are you? I am here to give her her choice back to decide what to do with her future Yeah Oh, really? There is nothing you can do! I have her debt I possess her! You think you can take the students here and take their choice away by waving a little bit of money in front of them? You’re wrong So come on then Take everything Take all of them! Take all of the students! Is that what you want? Take it! And then what? What do you think will happen in this brave new world of yours? Will everyone magically have the skills that they need to run your industry? And what about research? Will you pay for the long-term research? Oh, oh, will it be open research? Will it be closed? Will you share all your knowledge with the world? Or will you keep everything to yourself until you make that one tiny little mistake that you didn’t see coming because you were too focused on what’s right under your nose So, come on then! Take it all! Take everything! Take it all, have it all for yourself! You don’t know what you’re talking about! Oh, I don’t? Let me ask you a question Where does your workforce come from? We recruit a lot from universities Ok, good, good Now, tell me Where do students with more specialized skills come from? We ask the Master students here Great, great, great! Now, one more question, just one Where does your research come from? The doctors, I suppose Wait Are you…? Oh, hello! I am the Doctor! And you will now leave these students alone until they are ready to decide if and when they want to start a job! Yes, he’s right! And I will decide what to do with my life
myself! So, now Get out of here! Basically Run! Thank you, Doctor You’re welcome! You know, you can still come and work for
industry if you want Look at this! They’re not bad Or you can come to academia Where you can impact how people think about
the world So now that you’re informed Choose wisely, will you? Good question

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