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How Therapy Changed My Life


(piano music) – If I could describe how I felt before going to therapy in one word, lost, I think, yeah. – Conflicted. – Sad. I mean, I was just really sad. – Chaotic. – Numb. – It was in October my sophomore year of college. I was at my then girlfriend’s house and all of a sudden my brain started having this downward spiral. My chest started racing, I was having trouble breathing, then the panic attacks kept happening. When I started going through depression and I wasn’t my full self, I didn’t feel like there was anyone I could talk to about it because I felt like my friends only wanted to be around me when I was my 100% goofy, super happy self. So, I started thinking about going to therapy. I tried to talk myself out of it a billion times. Therapy is for people who have big, traumatic problems, not a 19-year-old who’s depressed and can’t study. I kept discounting my own feelings, and so, thank god I got to go in there and talk about these fears with her. She was like, well, how are you feeling? And then suddenly it was just like every thought I ever had poured out. When you go through depression or anxiety, you often think something had to have happened. There had to have been an event and oh, now you’re sad, but that’s not the case. Sometimes you’re just sad. – My reason for wanting to do therapy was partly related to just life goals and things that I wanted to get done and feeling that there may have been a little bit of a stagnancy, and it’s been life changing. One of my larger motivators for being open about going to therapy is the fact that I am a black man, and I don’t think that, within the community of black men, the topic of therapy is talked about very often. Giving other black men encouragement that it is okay and we can do this too, that also helps us overcome a stigma that we can’t, or we’re not allowed to take care of our mental health. There is a privilege for a lot of people. There is a privilege of having insurance, and you’re not having to pay $150 for every session. Yeah, the system isn’t really set up for everybody to have access to that. That’s not okay. – So, I started going to therapy at a relatively young age. I was around 17 years old. I was actually diagnosed with anorexia. Around the same times that I was diagnosed with anorexia I was also diagnosed with depression. My being gay played a big part in my eating disorder. It’s really easy to feel shitty about your body as a guy in an LGBTQ community. As a recently identified queer person with an eating disorder, going to therapy was super helpful, it was really essential, and I don’t know what I would’ve done without that. I know people can think that going to therapy means that you’re mentally unstable. I would sort of try to erase those qualms if you can. It is literally just like talking to a friend whose job is to just listen to you and talk to you and provide objective advice. – My senior year, I was taking 21 and 24 credit hours, and I had two very close friends get get killed. So, I went to therapy and I started to talk to them. It was a very cathartic feeling because it allowed me to grieve. It was very important for me to have another black woman therapist. It feels good to be able to speak to a therapist and relay certain things and they don’t think that you’re making it up. It’s good to just be like, you’ve been through this too, I’m sure. So, having an older black woman be able to talk to me, but also walk me through my healing was a very beautiful thing. Learning to go through the feels. So often we’re sort of taught to suppress them and keep it moving and act like we’re okay. If you’re not okay, that’s fine. – I was grieving from having lost my father. A month after that, I lost my grandfather and moved away from my family. I’d left my job that I loved and I didn’t have a job. It was just hard to even get out of the house. I was finally like okay, I need to do something for myself, get off my ass and do something. It was very helpful for me because I felt like I had this person that I was accountable to. I don’t know, everything kind of just changed after that. Obviously therapy deals with people all over the spectrum of mental health. You don’t have to suffer from anxiety or depression to go to therapy. Even if you don’t think you benefit, even if you don’t think you qualify, even if you think you’re super happy and uber blessed, I think everyone would benefit from therapy. – Capable, I feel really capable. – Shit, I feel… I feel empowered. – Better and stronger. – Liberating. – I felt validation. I think it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. (uplifting music) (squeaking)

100 Comments

  1. Kaylynn Barley
    Kaylynn Barley May 14, 2018

    i love this

  2. ;ᄆᄉᄆ
    ;ᄆᄉᄆ May 14, 2018

    therapy changed my life. i started only a few months ago. i now have a purpose and see life so differently..

  3. Emelie Stenberg
    Emelie Stenberg May 14, 2018

    Therapy isn't working for me, I just can't talk to strangers, I can't barely talk to my mom, I just can't it's like a "wall of silence"

  4. SomethingReallyStrange
    SomethingReallyStrange May 14, 2018

    I want and need therapy. Not sure where to start in getting one though…

  5. 68CamaroRS/SS
    68CamaroRS/SS May 14, 2018

    #millenialproblems….Starbucks ran out of straws…better contact Buzzfeed and cry about it SMFH

  6. cami martinez
    cami martinez May 14, 2018

    I'm currently with a therapist for almost 7 months. It change me . Baby steps for me…. I suffer from anxiety and I never knew it, I was thinking that's just me… and it wasn't . If you feel bad about something and you can talk it with anyone, Go!

  7. Megan Saper
    Megan Saper May 14, 2018

    Therapy did all of nothing before me. I’ve seen 7 different therapists in my life and many sent me away because they didn’t know how to help me. I’m not even 16 yet… I can’t trust therapists anymore cause for me, nothing helped

  8. Darryl Vaughn
    Darryl Vaughn May 14, 2018

    I’m glad Treye and Jamé shared their view on going to therapy, because they are right. The Black community doesn’t really talk about mental health care and while it is being talked about now, it’s still something that a lot of Black people don’t talk about publicly. Counseling and therapy has a stigma attached to it and it makes Black people not want to seek proper services. I think what would help is more affordable access to counseling services and more Black people entering the counseling profession. In grad school, when I went to counseling, having a Black male counselor was so important to helping me finish strong and graduate with my master’s degree.

  9. Dane Reads
    Dane Reads May 14, 2018

    At least it did some good for some people, I guess. This is nothing at all like my experience of therapy, though.

  10. TheGreenHumanist
    TheGreenHumanist May 14, 2018

    I started to go to therapy last year. It makes me feel more comfortable in my own skin. 🙂

  11. Kia Official
    Kia Official May 15, 2018

    Is this loss?

  12. LCapp5634
    LCapp5634 May 15, 2018

    Therapy helps me be able to feel. And I am so proud of myself for going and thankful to have that outlet

  13. Sonia Alfandre
    Sonia Alfandre May 15, 2018

    Yes! Great video!

  14. Cameron Jones
    Cameron Jones May 15, 2018

    Did the pink hair girl shoot like 50 videos in one day, or…?

  15. Liza Bentz
    Liza Bentz May 15, 2018

    I have been in therapy since I was 8 when my dad committed suicide I'm 19 now I hated it up until I was 16 and finally found someone that actually cared she helped me speak up about being raped. We all need help now and then or forever I don't think I'll ever stop going.

  16. Mel Bruh
    Mel Bruh May 15, 2018

    Can buzz feed make just ONE friking video where they don’t make everything a race issue?

  17. Linh Duong
    Linh Duong May 15, 2018

    Yup, I can agree with so much that was said in here. Besides that, I would just like to say, A surprising,pleasant, and small change for me was that my skin got a lot better!

  18. claudia Agreda
    claudia Agreda May 15, 2018

    therapy changed my life sooo much, i am stronger than ever, i undersatnd myself at a level that i didn't imagine existed. i allways recommend it

  19. Emeree R. Snyder
    Emeree R. Snyder May 15, 2018

    Therapy would help me…but i talk to nobody

  20. Joseph Kelley
    Joseph Kelley May 15, 2018

    This could have used an angle for young people with substance abuse problems, guess admittance is a much larger can of worms.

  21. midgetkels
    midgetkels May 15, 2018

    Therapy did not work for me. I went from July of 2017 – end of December 2017 and all it did was make me worse.

  22. Dan Pete
    Dan Pete May 15, 2018

    Best video Buzzfeed has released.

  23. Craig Merkey
    Craig Merkey May 15, 2018

    beautiful I ent to therapy 30 years ago… it set me on a solid path to move forward with confidence!

  24. Punny Skele
    Punny Skele May 15, 2018

    I started going to therapy after my brother’s death four months ago and I already feel lighter! It takes time, but therapy can help. If it doesn’t work for you, you can feel free to switch therapists. They won’t mind at all. ^^

  25. Tariq AAk
    Tariq AAk May 15, 2018

    Gay = bad

  26. ScorpionClaws86 Gaming
    ScorpionClaws86 Gaming May 15, 2018

    I just want to know why everything has to be about race

  27. Ashley Nicole Cheng
    Ashley Nicole Cheng May 15, 2018

    I very much appreciate the strength of these beautiful young adults. This is such an inspiring illustration of how love and understanding is expressed through social media. You may call us “Generation Snowflake”, but we will never stop striving for happiness in every way possible.

  28. Produce 101 :D
    Produce 101 :D May 15, 2018

    And this is why I want to be a psychologist.

  29. S.I.D
    S.I.D May 15, 2018

    this is SO important

  30. K Channel
    K Channel May 15, 2018

    Jesus changed my life- trust in Christ

  31. Cindy Griffing
    Cindy Griffing May 15, 2018

    I am so glad that these videos are being produce. I have been in therapy sense I was 16 and it has really helped me but at the time this was something that wasn’t really talked about and it is not and I think a big part in that change was that people are making videos like this.

  32. conpoet
    conpoet May 15, 2018

    "the system isn't really set up for everybody to have access to [therapy]; that's not okay." truth.

  33. KingSureShot
    KingSureShot May 15, 2018

    Therapy changed my life too. Who knew peeing in public trash cans is a bad thing to do?

  34. Becky Mackh
    Becky Mackh May 15, 2018

    In my junior year of high school (January 24 2014 to be exact) I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Major Depressive disorder, and Agoraphobia. My then boyfriend told me the day after I was diagnosed that I couldn't possibly have those disorders. "You're so happy all the time!" He'd said. "How can you feel that way when you look so happy?"
    I broke up with him a month later.
    After trying a few medications, my psychiatrist and I decided therapy would be good as well. My therapist was named Brandi.
    Brandi was the woman I'd longed to be, the woman I'd always wanted in my life. Instead of my mother's soft reassurances or my grandmother's passive acceptance, Brandi was aggressive. If I'd said something negative, she'd stop me in my tracks and say "Wrong, try again." It is only because of my year with Brandi that I now see myself for who I am–a beautiful young woman who can do anything she puts her mind to.
    I'm still in therapy, with a different therapist–Brandi moved away–but I'm still so happy I'm going. My therapist is one of the only people that knows my every problem and can give me a workable solution (or at least the only one I'll hear it from lol).
    I would not be here without therapy and medication.

  35. Chase Louie
    Chase Louie May 15, 2018

    Therapy has really helped me figure out myself as a person, and connect the dots in a way. I also am learning how to form relationships, socialize, accept myself for who I am, and basically figure out why I feel the way I do. 🙂 It really helps clear things up for me. I have gone to several therapists, some it's like talking to a wall with the loudest thing being a ticking clock. The therapist I have right now, OH MY GOSH, she is so great. She is like a really close friend that I can talk to about anything!!

  36. OHmaGAH
    OHmaGAH May 15, 2018

    I appreciate any channel that doesn’t have auto-generated subtitles and spends there time on the subtitles.( I know it’s not the point of the video just appreciate ya)

  37. Gul Pathfinder
    Gul Pathfinder May 15, 2018

    The next level is to learn to be your own therapist. Remember that as much as the therapist wants to help you, he's just an employee who earns a paycheck through your suffering. He will never really know or care about you. Only you can really figure out what you know and what you need. Only you can really care about you.

  38. stereoheart31
    stereoheart31 May 15, 2018

    Some need referrals

  39. Difusal
    Difusal May 15, 2018

    <3

  40. Entertainment
    Entertainment May 15, 2018

    relying on other people for help is sad

  41. Emma Louise
    Emma Louise May 15, 2018

    I'm depressed and suicidal and I have been denying a therapist for quite some time now but then my older sister showed me this video and I think I might go

  42. Bex
    Bex May 15, 2018

    This is making me emotional lol. As someone who's in therapy, I love this video

  43. stap0290
    stap0290 May 15, 2018

    Is TED-Ed animator doing animation for Buzzfeed now?

  44. Hoover Amaya
    Hoover Amaya May 15, 2018

    Video loading. Waiting to see how therapy has changed someone's life. I wonder if this will sway my psychology studies one way or another. Let's see.

  45. Sarah De Martin
    Sarah De Martin May 15, 2018

    The gay guy is cute as hell! He reminds me of my guy best friend and I love him so much

  46. NXM Beauty
    NXM Beauty May 15, 2018

    I need therapy, but no time 🙁 womp womp

  47. Kate Moore
    Kate Moore May 15, 2018

    I’m 14 and I haven’t been feeling me lately like since last year it’s changed. I’ve been sad all the time and I have anxiety big time. I want to go to therapy and my mum wants me to go and I’ve always refused but after watching this I really want to give it a try. But I feel like it will be really awkward like I find it hard to open up to people. Is it awkward and what happens if you just say your fine?

  48. Marko Savic
    Marko Savic May 15, 2018

    Black people are te biggest racists

  49. Vanshika Dhyani
    Vanshika Dhyani May 15, 2018

    "19 Y/O WHO CAN'T STUDY"

  50. Xue` r
    Xue` r May 15, 2018

    Nice graffics!😊

  51. Paradoxa
    Paradoxa May 15, 2018

    My hubby also has mental illnesses, he's half Middle Eastern, half Latino and both cultures put very much pride in their attitude and mental status, in some families it's considered a weakness to go to therapy but thank Darwin that he is smart and developed his state of mind to a point where he said "I have to see a doctor and go to therapy" and I'm so proud of him for doing that. I try to support him as best as I can and we hope he'll soon have an appointment to see someone.
    I wish all of you guys the best, try to support your beloved ones when they are having a hard time and if you don't know how, just ask them. They really appreciate that you are trying to help and they might feel bit more important and worthy again, only because of that

  52. frootjooce
    frootjooce May 15, 2018

    The fact young people who are Liberals are so in need of the therapy industries is telling.

  53. Ella
    Ella May 15, 2018

    I wasn’t allowed to go to therapy for sooo long because of a situation I was in. I finally went and it’s such a relief, it changed my life and made me think so differently about who I am. If you feel like you need to talk to someone professional. Do it! It’s incredible

  54. Gameminer
    Gameminer May 15, 2018

    Therapy has 0 impact on some people, including me. The problem is that the other person has to understand you to help you, sadly none of the 3 therapists I had understood me.

  55. May04bwu
    May04bwu May 15, 2018

    In my country everybody has insurance but very few therapists actually accept the insurance. Vast majority of them chooses not to sign any contracts with the insurance companies and charge the full fee because that way they get more money than they would from your insurance. It sucks. I wanna go but it's so expensive 🙁

  56. Kukki
    Kukki May 15, 2018

    Therapy was more of a wake up call for me it made me realize that I was not only sick but I was hurting my family by harming myself so I had to stop. Depression I mean like I feel a lot better now I think I’m okay I’m definitely a loner now but kids my age just aren’t mature enough so I just stay away it’s better that way. I have my family though that’s all I need and I know they’ll always be there for me. They even went out of their way to get me out of that horrible rick and mortar school now I’m happily doing school at home online.

  57. J .hass
    J .hass May 15, 2018

    This does make me so excited to be a therapist in the future!! The AND after watching that video i'm 100% sure that this is going to be my job no matter what. ❤️

  58. ruki 26
    ruki 26 May 15, 2018

    i don't like how the black woman stating the fact that her therapy is also a black woman , srsly , these days black people are the ones becoming racist , stop it , please , it doesn't matter , we're all humans

  59. Abdullah Basil
    Abdullah Basil May 15, 2018

    It saddens me that my country doesn't have therapist or more likely they don't care much about mental illness.

  60. Mia D
    Mia D May 15, 2018

    God I love therapy. I’ve been in it for about 10 years since I was 10 and it’s why I’m in school majoring in social work, so I can be a clinical therapist one day!

  61. Raven Goudeau
    Raven Goudeau May 15, 2018

    loved this so much. thank you all for doing this !! 🙏🏽💕 WE ALL needed this

  62. Mao and Then
    Mao and Then May 15, 2018

    same thing with the Asian culture, therapy and mental health is just such an underrated topic. It really helped me tremendously and helped me to learn even more about myself.

  63. Tasnima
    Tasnima May 15, 2018

    I've been debating for 6 months whether to go to this free counselling service that partners with my college. You can only qualify if you're still studying at college but college ends in a month. So there goes my chance.

  64. jzenaa.
    jzenaa. May 15, 2018

    No one said that black men can’t go to therapy? So wdym “let people know we can do this to”

  65. Shannon Suess
    Shannon Suess May 16, 2018

    Thank you all for sharing 🙂

  66. Selina Skeggs
    Selina Skeggs May 16, 2018

    Thank you all for being strong and open enough to share your stories with the world.
    You are all amazing and God bless you all x

  67. doll
    doll May 16, 2018

    Im in therapy because i'm socially awkward

  68. Kathleen Harry
    Kathleen Harry May 16, 2018

    I've had a lot of really hard experiences and I've been in therapy since I was 15. I am now way more able to deal with difficult situations. My therapist was so wonderful that I am now studying psychology so I can help others the way she helped me.

  69. Jorge Felix
    Jorge Felix May 16, 2018

    weak-minded bitches…

  70. Greens roger
    Greens roger May 16, 2018

    Why is everyone gay in buzzfeed

  71. Erika Burian
    Erika Burian May 16, 2018

    <3 finding a therapist that helps you develop and sustain skills is life changing- <3 I agree I think there needs to be even more accessibility for therapists with a sliding scale

  72. kaylee roki
    kaylee roki May 16, 2018

    •••••••
    •••• tears ••••
    •••••••

  73. • Alxha_kimikx •
    • Alxha_kimikx • May 16, 2018

    Therapy is wonderful because like I go and it has made me feel WAY better.No one should have to feel like like you need to by crazy to get therapy

  74. Hella Strange
    Hella Strange May 16, 2018

    Delaney (the girl with the pink hair) looks awesome! And everyone in therapy is so brave, there shouldn't be such a stigma around it..

    Sorry if I made any spelling mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker :/

  75. qwertyman459
    qwertyman459 May 16, 2018

    listening my so called freinds dont listen. i just want to talk. everyone thinks im crazy. ive seen alot i should not seen.

  76. August Argleben
    August Argleben May 16, 2018

    Therapy changed my entire life, it saved me.

  77. # Lucie Panda #
    # Lucie Panda # May 16, 2018

    It kind of annoys me how instead of just saying man and woman they say black man and woman. I know races have differences but idk why can’t everyone just not even notice differences…(ps I know that’s impossible so don’t go hatin but I’m just saying my opinion 😂)

  78. Ninon Barbier
    Ninon Barbier May 16, 2018

    fresh clue reader slide statue feature given sword on secret.

  79. 𝓮𝓶𝓲𝓵𝔂
    𝓮𝓶𝓲𝓵𝔂 May 16, 2018

    i'm starting my mental health journey with a therapist next week and i'm really freaked out this video made me feel a little more comforted about going so thanks buzzfeed❤

  80. potato sandal
    potato sandal May 16, 2018

    Im 12 I dont know why I'm watching this but my friend goes to a theripist and she's 11 . She has suicidal thoughts and Im being blamed for it.

  81. Phil Johnson
    Phil Johnson May 16, 2018

    Who needs therapy when God has all the answers, this is the problem with todays society

  82. T.O.P
    T.O.P May 17, 2018

    Most of them got sick after entering college. Coincidence? I think not.

  83. Antoni hahaha
    Antoni hahaha May 17, 2018

    I have therapy and it sucks

  84. Divya  Sharma
    Divya Sharma May 17, 2018

    meditation or guided meditation is eqivalent to tharapy

  85. stompdownzor
    stompdownzor May 18, 2018

    Thanks for this video , now I’m going

  86. chuggaaaa898989890-0-0-0-0-
    chuggaaaa898989890-0-0-0-0- May 18, 2018

    Delaney needs to sort out her wig …

  87. Jacob
    Jacob May 24, 2018

    So they found a bunch of gay people who need therapy… weird

  88. I love Dale Cooper
    I love Dale Cooper May 28, 2018

    Buzzfeed is really such a trash. Came here because of one reference… Didn't expect it to be true that Buzzfeed is realy mostly just about Gays, blacks, lesbians or bi, etc… should I not feel offended by the fact that most of the videos are only about these people? So majority isn't "interesting" or "promotable" enough? Seems like buzzfeed is trying too hard to be politically correct by way that is not natural at all. and honestly, it is too much of it already.

  89. This_Is_Me
    This_Is_Me May 28, 2018

    I agree with this so much. I feel like my therapist was like my guardian angel. She was exactly what I needed at the time.

  90. Rhi Snowdon
    Rhi Snowdon June 1, 2018

    It's really strange that you have to pay for therapy in America, I live in England and its free, I mean some therapists you have to pay for but 90% of it is free,

  91. Kandy Harlequin
    Kandy Harlequin June 3, 2018

    "There had to be an event, now your sad, that's not the case, sometimes you are just sad" thank you!!!! So many times I've said I'm feeling depressed and people ask what's happened and I explain I suffer from depression and they continue to think its something. No, I have a chemical imbalance, I just get depressed 😓

  92. Whatever Art
    Whatever Art June 24, 2018

    It won’t work for me

  93. Snitzy Baby
    Snitzy Baby July 30, 2018

    I think I need therapy after scrolling though some of these Buzzfeed videos.

  94. Tobin Kennedy
    Tobin Kennedy August 9, 2018

    Therapy has changed my life incredibly as well

  95. Maria Iraheta
    Maria Iraheta December 30, 2018

    Amazing video!!!! So happy to hear these stories. I’m in the process of becoming a therapist and filming it 🙂

  96. Justice
    Justice April 3, 2019

    please make more mental health videos 🙁

  97. Michael Ahmann
    Michael Ahmann June 21, 2019

    I really liked this video until it became about privilege….

  98. Ali
    Ali July 17, 2019

    'oh no, it may not be much, but let me know there is anything I can do for you'……ok Google…wtf

  99. Frances Kim
    Frances Kim July 19, 2019

    These people’s therapists sound so nice and open. I was forced to start therapy and the therapist that I was assigned was not helpful at all and made my mental health worse.

  100. josh Youngblood
    josh Youngblood July 24, 2019

    Buzzfeed is the only channel I know that can bring up racism in a video about mental health and therapy

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